A Candy Apple Kind of Love

*sigh* Fair/Festival season is long over. And so I must bid farewell to my favorite time of year. Merchants selling their cheap crap, the smell of over-priced food permeating through the air, and fresh cotton candy on a stick. It doesn't matter how many times I walk the same midway, I love it more and more. My boyfriend, Colin, is a sweetheart and will bear the shoulder to shoulder crowds to avoid the impending hissy fit I throw should I miss the fair. He also stands it for the love of his Grandma Ann.

Grandma Ann's material loves are pretty straightforward: cooking, Jeopardy!, and candy apples. And one out of four seasons of the year, Colin and I can hit the trifecta. We go to the fair, spend only enough money to satisfy the grease craving, buy a few granny smith candy apples, go to Grandma Ann's and eat a home-cooked meal as we watch Jeopardy! and she eats her candy apple.

Now that fair season is over, I think Grandma Ann is feeling the depression creeping in, too. I was recently told that Grandma Ann had a discussion with Colin in which my love for him came into question. Her words, as quoted to me by Colin, were, "If Andrea really loved you, she would learn how to make candy apples." I looked at Grandma Ann over the steak dinner we were enjoying as Colin recanted the tale. A knowing smirk on her lips. Game on, Grandma Ann. Game on.

Tips for making candy:

- Do not make candy when the weather is humid.

- Use extreme caution. Boiling sugar is dangerous!

- Do not allow crystals to form on your pan. It will cause the entire pan of sugar to crystallize, and you'll be left with a gritty mess.

  ^I was having too much fun with the excess candy (>.<) 

Candy Apple Love

Makes 4-5 candy apples

Ingredients:

4-5 Granny Smith apples

1 c. sugar

½ c. light corn syrup

¼ c. hot water

¼ c. crushed Red Hots candies

Tools:

4-5 popsicle sticks

Silicone mat
Zip top baggie
Hammer/ Meat tenderizer/ Food processor

Small saucepan

Candy thermometer

Heat safe spatula

Heat safe pastry brush

Directions:

Wash and dry the apples. Twist off the stems and insert popsicle sticks.

Put Red Hot candies in a zip top bag. Close the bag and crush the crap out of those little red gems!

You could use a food processor instead, but who couldn't use a little stress relief?

In a small saucepan, combine water, corn syrup, and sugar over medium-high heat.

Stir until sugar dissolves.

Sugar grit is evil.

Occasionally wash down the sides of the saucepan with a wet pastry brush to avoid crystallization. 

Continue to cook without stirring until a candy thermometer inserted in the syrup reads 250°. Be patient. This will happen slowly.

Add Red Hots candies and stir just to incorporate.

Continue to cook without stirring, washing down the sides as needed, until temperature reaches 285°. Watch the thermometer carefully. Unlike the last 250°, this will happen quickly.

Remove from heat and stir candy until it is smooth and even.

Hold an apple by the stick and dip it in the candy. You may tilt the pan at an angle and rotate the apple to cover it completely. Twist apple by the stick to shake off excess candy. Set on silicone mat. Quickly finish dipping the rest of the apples. If you have extra candy, pour into a silicone mold or on to your silicone mat to make little hard candies.

Allow to cool to room temperature before eating*. 

*My test monkey (AKA Jordan) and I didn't wait until it was room temperature. We just waited long enough for the candy to harden and cool enough that molten sugar wasn't going to burn the flesh off our mouths. I have to admit, it was pretty tasty with the warm apple and cinnamon-ny spiciness. Grandma Ann loved them almost as much as I love her grandson.  <3

Recipe adjusted from this original.

Holy Trinity

Bacon, jalapeños, cream cheese. Those are the three ingredients of which love is made. There is not an easier, more tasty recipe out there for these little bundles of joy. Best of all, they're not breaded and they're baked. My boyfriend's best friend's fiancée (let's call her Marcie) gets the credit for this wonderful recipe.

Bacon Wrapped Jalapeño Poppers

Ingredients:
Maple cured bacon
Philadelphia Cream Cheese (tub, not the block)
Fresh jalapeños
 

Tools:
Cookie tray with raised edges
Kitchen scissors or knife
Kitchen gloves
Cutting board
Paring knife
Spoon
Butter knife
Wooden toothpicks

Preheat the oven to 350°

With kitchen scissors or a knife, cut bacon in half and place on a cookie sheet in a single layer. Bake bacon until cooked and golden brown.

Meanwhile, arm yourself with kitchen gloves and remind yourself not to touch your face, eyes, mouth, nose, or any other open orifice while handling jalapeños. (Your hands and face will thank you.) Cut the caps off and cut in half lengthwise. With a spoon, scrape out the seeds and white ribbing inside. Discard the caps, seeds, and ribbing. The seeds and ribbing are the source of the jalapeño's power -I mean- heat. If you want your poppers to be extra hot, leave a little bit if the ribbing in the pepper.

Use a butter knife to fill the jalapeños with cream cheese. Wrap with cooked bacon and pin it with a toothpick.

Place the stuffed jalapeños onto the same baking tray you cooked the bacon on and heat for 10-15 minutes or until the jalapeños are heated through but not mushy. Drain excess bacon grease on a few layers of paper towel.

Variations: The cream cheese can be a vessel for all kinds of flavors. Spices, shredded cheddar cheese, bacon bits, whatever your heart desires. My theory, however, is the invention of cream cheese is God's way of showing that He loves us and needs not to be tampered... at least not in this recipe anyway. These poppers are a great way of showing people you love them. Unless you have a boyfriend like mine who doesn't like peppers. Then it's a great way to show his friends that you love them.

Garlic Odors Meet Your Un-Maker!

Over the years, I have seen some ridiculous things but this is near the top of my list:

This my friends, is Sagaform EDGE Odor Remover Metal Soap. It is a stainless steel metal block that will remove garlic and onion odors from your hands. You can buy it for $14.95 at Amazon. Awesome. I hate the lingering smell of garlic and onions on my hands. 

But think about it. Wait for it! That's right. It's just a hunk of metal. Honestly, there is nothing special about this "soap" at all. In the end, as long as you haven't let the offending odors seep into your skin, you should be able to remove the scent by rubbing your hands on any stainless steel appliance, utensil, or tool you have. I use the faucet. Sometimes, when I feel like living on the edge, I use the sides of a large knife while I'm cleaning it.

There. You just saved 15 bucks. Don't you feel thrifty?

Out of House and Home

Surprise! Your cousin is going into labor 2 weeks early! And guess what? You agreed to house and dog-sit while her and her husband are at the hospital.

That's what my week has been like. On Monday, October 31 I got a text saying that my cousin was in labor. I received the text immediately after having an hour long massage. (I would like to say I was nice and relaxed, but that would be lying. I had the massage to alleviate pain. And if any one has ever had a massage to alleviate pain, they too know that it is anything but relaxing.) Anyway, on the way home I stopped at the grocery store to pick up dinner. Down the freezer aisle I roamed until I spotted it. Or maybe it spotted me. Regardless of who/what did the spotting, I knew I had to have them: Pierogies.

Flashback! Post-college. Roomie: Pigat. 

Right after college, Pigat and I didn't know how to cook many things. We were more of the heat-and-eat kinds of people. Pigat's specialty was pierogies. At the time, I had no idea what pierogies were, and the whole potato/pasta thing really threw me off. But one taste and I was hooked.

So here I am in my cousin's house armed with a box of Mrs. T's, a jar of Prego, and a small zucchini. Heat-and-eat magic, here I come!

Ingredients:
1 box Mrs. T's Pierogies

1 small jar Prego spaghetti sauce

1 small zucchini

1 TBSP butter

Parmesan cheese for extra cheesy love

BEGIN! - 0:00 

Set a large pot of water to boil.

0:15 

 When water is boiling, add frozen perogies.

0:16 

 While perogies are doing their thing, chop the zucchini into ½ chunks.

0:18 

 Heat a large skillet and melt butter.

0:20 

Pierogies will float when they are ready to come out of the water.

Add perogies and zucchini to the skillet. Stir zucchini occasionally.

0:25 

 Flip perogies, toss zucchini. Pierogies and zucchini should be lightly browned.

0:30

 Add pasta sauce and stir.

Serve! - 0:33

And may I present: Jackson Andrew!  :)
Born November 1, 2011